You know, what? I'm actually happy I got those three tickets. I'm actually happy that I got a rude awakening.
I was pulled over in the middle of the night, so by default, I was given a test to heck for D.U.I. Yes, I was drinking before, I will admit to that. I had four or five beers. Being 5'4, 123 lbs, I was buzzed. The cop shined the light on my eyes and totally caught it.
You're feeling it, huh?
Feeling, what? I choked.
No, I'm just cold and really nervous.
He smiledRelax. Go back to your car.
He let me go on that one, because I have/had a perfect driving record for seven years. Not even a parking ticket.
I was crapping in my pants, thinking about everything that I was about to throw away...but a much deserved rude awakening.
That next day, I did a lot of thinking. I told my dad and he calmly said, "That's okay." I called my mom at work and she screamed. She was livid, but only for five minutes, and then she felt bad.
I'm not a party animal, definitely not as much as before, but even the little that I do, I don't even feel like doing it anymore. I don't even want to drink. I got back my lab reports and they are perfect like gold. Why do I want to screw that up? I will like to keep it that way.
The same evening, we had one of those family moments in the living room- mom, dad, even the dog and I. I had come home from a late afternoon walk, where I did more reflecting, then I just let it all go. I cried and cried about everything; no school, unemployment, the tickets, the cop who asked me for my number and what I was doing Friday night (yeah...), just my current situation in Life (which I am not too content with), and my parents' being at each other's throats lately.
Both my parents consoled me. We're not perfect. We're small in number. We're just barely middle class, but I can tell you that we are amazing and we love each other- probably the only thing that will matter when the financial system, the world, society collapses.
So, I have been reflecting, a lot, and I take it as a sign to put my two feet on the ground.
no more misbehaving
I have a lot of housework to do in my life.
Current Music: Mute Math- OK